What Has the World Turn Into?

 You can’t see in Seda Tarverdian’s eyes of all the pain she went through, but once she starts to tell her story, you start having so much respect for her. An amazing elderly to talk to and a thoughtful grandmother, worried about the future of the children of this generation finally decided to speak out. Now in her 60’s, she can talk about all the things she dislikes about this generation. The major deal is the fact that children and parents have a different relationship than before. She loves helping others, especially her three children currently living in the same area as her. Currently living in Glendale, but born in a village called Metiabad in Iran and raised in the capital of Iran, Tehran ; she enjoys spending time with her grandchildren, learning English, going to yoga and dancing classes, going out with her friends, listening to music,  and much more.

Born Where? In a village around Tehran called Metiabad. Many gardens, gardens that grew grapes and fruits like peaches and such. There were little ponds and rivers that people got water from. Around our house there was an animal that didn’t come out a lot. One day my grandmother told me to go pick grapes from the gardens, so I did so and I remember it was windy, the leaves were making noise and hitting each other. Suddenly I see a red and yellow looking fox. It was coming towards me. I dropped my basket and ran barefoot and just ran and ran and I was so nervous that I fell in a pond. I was about to drowned but then someone saved me. Um I was about six years old. I was small; I remember my height was short. Around that time I was supposed to go to school. There were schools outside of the village, far, far away, only for boys. Very far and there was no car.

We stayed in the village until I was eight years old. Eight years old we came to Tehran. My mom was sick. We were two sisters and had three brothers. First night my mom was sick, nothing, then in the morning we took her to the doctor. We didn’t even open our suitcases when my mother died. It was very bad for me. I was the oldest daughter. My brothers, two went to work, one went to school and my sister went to school. I was the middle child. I was the oldest daughter so they told me that I had to cook food and clean the house. I had to do it.

My dad married another woman. Another one. Some time passed and I begged them to let me go to work and sew. School told my dad that I couldn’t go to school, they didn’t take me anymore. Nothing, then I sewed and sewed. Other people went out and had fun. No one ever told me to go, I couldn’t, I had things to do, so I got used to it. My life was like that. I went sewing and one day a guy was following me, so he came to talk to me and my uncle’s son saw that he was after me. Then he told my brother, this was in Tehran, they got him and started to hit him, hit him, then they told me that I couldn’t go sewing anymore. I just stayed quiet. They thought about it and saw that it wasn’t my fault, so they let me go sewing again.

I sewed for a while, then my dad came home one day and told me that he found a guy for me that I had to marry. I told him “No DAD! I cant now”, because I liked someone else but I couldn’t tell him. I was afraid. My dad told me that this guy’s family was a lot and good, they had nine rooms. They had electric irons. My uncle’s wife said, “Don’t worry; I’m going to tell my daughter to tell him to come to our backyard so you’ll see him”. Then the guy came, he came from a wedding. He looked angry, I was afraid of him. He came more often. Then at the end I was force to marry him. Days passed, I got married, it was hard and a lot of people lived in one house. He went to work and earned money, he wanted a car, and I made him get a house one way or another.

We needed the house I had three kids already. We moved and we stayed there for two years and slowly life got better and we paid our bills for the house. We had other payments for other things not paid. Something happened, accidentally he died. He had an accident. It was hard for me. My kids grew up. My kids, one was seven and a half, one was four and other one was nine.

The office that my husband worked for, they gave us some money, as in insurance. My husband’s brother told me to give him the money so we could be partners. I believed him. He said he had a store, we could work together in it and you’ll live with the money that comes along. I didn’t get any receipts from him. After a while he bothered me with not standing for his words, he didn’t give my money. My son’s leg hurt, I didn’t have money. My life was hard.

One day my neighbor told me that I could go baby-sit her husband’s boss’s children. I never babysat anyone but my own children. They hired me. The husband was American and the wife was Indian. They paid me a lot. I decided to send my kids to India. I put them in new schools. I did different jobs all for my kids. I wasn’t that close to my children back then, I was always mad at them or busy.

My daughter and one of my sons got married and we moved to the U.S. in 1986 we went to Germany. We came to U.S. from Germany. Two years in Germany, then we came here. At first I didn’t like America, then I saw that the rules and things are different but it was a good country. My life now, my kids have grownup and I have grandchildren, kids are very different now. Much more sensitive. They need to make kids understand things, talk gently.

I look at life now, I feel bad for children. I know little ones like to spend time with their parents. Parents are busy these days. Tell stories, talk to them, hardly ever. I like to help my grandchildren with anything possible. Kids these days can go and do what they want. Most when they hit that stage are totally gone either they get better.

I see parents that try to make their children happy with money but they’re wrong. They need to talk with their kid, not just give them everything. The kid has to know how hardly money comes. They should say, “You already have one thing, no more until next week”.

One time I saw a parent hitting her child. The mother hit the kid from one cheek to another in front of everyone. The kid felt embarrassed outside, even if he was very young. He still saw it was bad for him. You should be like friends to children.

Before parents had a lot of time with their kids. During homework, most parents could not help their kids with anything. No one went to school. Now most parents can read and write. The kids get happy too. Before kids respected and listened to their kids a lot. Now they act like little spoiled brats. Now kids have thousand and five different kinds of toys. All killing games. It looks like killing someone is easy and fun.

Children changing toward their parents, has to do with generation, country and freedom.

                                                                                                    Interviewed by Soseh Khachturian